I just don’t.

I just don’t have much to say to him.

He uses the silent treatment on me, which I hate. I’m not doing that to him, I answer him and go about my life. But I’m making no effort to speak to him.

I usually rattle on and on filling him in on the kids activities and daily life around the house, but there no desire to do so now.

He often tells me we wouldn’t talk at all if I didn’t speak to him. He says I say a thousand words to his 10.

He’s usually staring at his iPad anyway when I talk to him.

I feel like I’m detaching.

Or shutting down. I’m not sure.

There’s just nothing else I can say to him. I’ve said it all.

There’s a girl I work out with, she has a farm and her house has an in-law apartment. It’s sitting empty. It’s completely furnished.

I can’t stop thinking about it. Not permanent move, but maybe a week or two? I just feel the need to get away from him. Probably not the thing to do, but it’s on my mind.

I just need a break. He knows all the things to do and say to “smooth over” our conversation the other night. Sweep it under the rug.

Not this time.

Hope everyone is staying cool. The heat here in Maryland has been a bit brutal this week. Happy 4th!!! 💥 🇺🇸

About Walking the Journey

I'm a wife of 22+ years, a mother of three, a sister, a friend. This is my journey on healing after an affair. I'm full of sarcasm, humor and truth. Sharing the journey after my husbands affair, I'm hoping to rid myself of the demons and get a ticket out of crazy town that I'm living in.
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9 Responses to I just don’t.

  1. Your mention of being in Maryland made me think about the severe storms we had last evening (Baltimore County) and how they triggered thoughts of dealing with my own waves of emotion. From sunny/bright to overcast/dark to stormy/tempestuous and back to sunny again today. I need to find my “emotional Florida” and move there for the sunshine.

    It seems like your gut is telling you something, perhaps you should heed it. Are your instincts often wrong? If not, take the action. Do things that allow you to admire your own expressions of courage, maturity, and strength.

    • Thank you for commenting :). Those storms last night were scary!! They rolled in quick and out of nowhere. I like the idea of an emotional Florida.

      My instincts used to be good, but It’s funny, I don’t trust them like I used to. I feel like I shoulda known he was cheating.

      • RosieJoseph says:

        You and millions of others of us! But we don’t because we don’t want to see the bad, and we know what we would face if we did. But we have to face it in the end anyway. I believe that learning from what happens is the important thing, and I know I was so angry with myself for lying to myself. That is why I will never to that again, no matter how painful. That was my learning. You didn’t listen to your instincts before but you are now. R

  2. whiskyburden says:

    Nice day at the beach!!!! Well except for all them damn tourists!

  3. Gone says:

    I think you need space. But I think you should get him to be the one to go. Leaving the house can be abandonment if he’s quick and tricky on legalities, depending on your state.

    There’s a reason you’re detaching. You can’t get blood from a stone. And I think you should continue to not talk to him. He is so used to letting your vibrancy fill and colour his world. He takes it, and you for granted. Again- why does all his commentary seem like criticism- the whole 1000 words to his ten… and? Congratulations, he is boring and antisocial and can’t be bothered to actually communicate with his mate. Remind me why that’s a good thing. Tell me why that makes him better than you! Fuck him. What a twerp. And you’re right. He knows the moves to make it all smooth over. But that’s all it is. A cover job. He’s conning you. And you’re not willing to fall for it anymore. Ugh.

  4. There’s no reconciliation if the betrayer cannot accept the massive, far reaching, permanent damage they have caused.
    I’m on vacation but I couldn’t help it, I had to see what all your posts were about. You’re so strong, and you can make it no matter who is in or out of your life. I’m glad you see that.

  5. RosieJoseph says:

    I too thought about leaving: just giving myself some space and time to think away from Danny. But I thought of Ethan and the additional turmoil that would bring to his life and that kept me there. But I did tell Danny that I was thinking about it. But then Danny talked to me. If he was behaving in the same way as your H I may have done things differently, and I know I would not have told him; I would have kept everything close to my chest.
    I agree with ‘Gone’ that often what your H says seems so undermining: I read into this one that the underlying message was ‘you talk too much.’ So I would do exactly what you are doing let him now know, let him wonder, let him feel what you felt like and then maybe he will start to understand. As Jack said you are strong and you are, but I also know that doesn’t mean you are not in pain. You can do this, sending a hug. Rosie x

  6. Ainsobriety says:

    Ask him to leave for a week. Take stock.
    Kids aren’t blind or deaf. They know something is up.
    And if he’s like this with you he’s probably like this with them as well.

    Hug. This all sucks.

  7. Vixx says:

    I can relate. I lately feel like If I didn’t make an effort we’d be like ships that pass in the night. Yesterday we went to a water park w our kids and it was fun, BUT I noticed it was like being somewhere w a friend. Used to he was always all over me – if we were in the water he was hugging me or feeling me up but yesterday I don’t think he touched me even once like he used to. In fact most of the time when he does attempt to fe me up or act like he wants me it feels forced and fake. So later he caught me crying and I told him what I really thought and he SAYS all the right things (you have nothing to worrry about, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, don’t you know I love and cherish you etc) BUT I saw the expression ion on his face for a slit second when I brought it up – guilt before he masked it. I told him – those are JUST words – ACTIONS show the truth of a relationship. He tries to say that it’s the stress of this project he’s on BUT he still remembers to tell our daughters how much he loves them and be affectionate to them I didn’t bring this up with him cuz the last time he acted like I was jealous – smh really jealous no I love that you show them but it also makes his lack towards me glaringly apparent. I don’t think he wants to leave me or change anything I think he just needs the exvotenty and ego boost however I’m not ok w it. I’ve been trying to find proof or catch him but no luck yet

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