About Me

I’m a wife of 22+ years, a mother of three, a sister, a friend.

This is my journey on healing after an affair. I’m full of sarcasm, humor and truth. Sharing the journey after my husbands affair, I’m hoping to rid myself of the demons and get a ticket out of crazy town that I’m living in.
This blog contains bad language and sexual references. If this offends you, this isn’t the blog for you.
I’ve come to realize that there is no right or wrong way to dealing with infidelity. You can advise, you can listen… but it really is ‘To each their own.’ I feel like you just need to do what you need to do. Writing this blog is what I need to do.
I guess there COULD be a wrong way, and that might be to punch the other woman right in the throat… (though that may be temporarily satisfying to do)… but I’m thinking that may be the wrong way to deal with it

7 Responses to About Me

  1. Pingback: 97.2: I Contain Multitudes (Part 2 of 2) – Confessions of a Reformed Cad

  2. Pingback: 112: What am I doing? — Walking the Journey – Confessions of a Reformed Cad

  3. Pingback: 116: He Wants Forgiveness by Walking the Journey – Confessions of a Reformed Cad

  4. Ease says:

    Hello Walking,

    Hopefully this doesn’t make me come off as a stalker, but I didn’t know where to ask whether the email in your comment works (I sent an email with a question some day ago)?

    (You can erase this comment, since I only wished to know)

    • I didn’t see anything come through, but feel free to reach out 🙂


      • Ease says:

        Thank you❤️

      • Ease says:

        This is what I sent in the emails (which if you got any of them you’ll be royally fed up with right now, but if you didn’t here’s your last chance 😂). In my, once again, partial opinion this one could be considered somewhat more accurate (and by all means longer and less contradicting) than your husbands latest one. Of course you can simply erase this post and forget it if you already got it in those emails and are by now fed up with it beyond measure. Although I think you’d had replied if that was the case.


        Looking back to that day, I do not get

        How on earth, I could have ever let

        Myself, yes me, doing all I could

        What I can’t imagine, that I now would

        But I was screaming and crying, standing in your way

        Even begging you, to please just stay

        What I did or said, was to be in vain

        To threw myself on the floor, only added pain

        My tries would prove futile, but I didn’t know

        How you had put on, the biggest show

        For how long, would only later be fact

        I didn’t know by then, how well you could act

        I didn’t know of course, what you had in stow

        Or that you, of all, could sink so low

        You never let me in, on what went on in your mind

        Looking back I see signs, but I wasn’t blind

        When you don’t suspect mischief, what will you find?

        What a blow, what a blow, I could not believe

        Not only cheating, but now on your way to leave?!

        Trickle truth they say, and trickle truth it would be

        Hurt, loss and grief, all foisted upon me

        Waves of nausea, again and again

        Could you not have told me everything, there and then?

        I tried to pave a way, through the lies that you threw

        Would I have changed approach, if I only knew?

        You kept it hidden and buried, for far too long

        It made me weaker and weaker, while it made you strong

        You kept dragging me along, in this horrible wait

        Forced me to dig deeper and deeper, to get it straight

        Instead of being upfront, right away

        So I could decide in truth, to leave or stay

        Instead you kept on lying, to my face

        Avoiding answers, and creating space

        You just ignored my pleas, and tried to shift the blame

        Laid it all on me, then tripled that with shame

        So yes I held on tight, not wanting you to go

        Because of love, and my honest marriage vow

        And because you held the truth, that I needed to hear

        Because it mattered so much, but you didn’t care

        Took off your ring already done, it didn’t mean that much

        How come you still reached out, and craved my touch?

        I should have been the ever angry and unforgiving wife

        Who helped your ass on the way, and out of my life

        In retrospect, that is far too easy to say

        In that moment what I needed, was of you to stay

        To give me time for answers I never knew I would need

        Explaining the broken vow, and the unexplainable deed

        But you were indifferent and cold

        The ever obstinate and bold

        Just sailed in and out, as one free of faults

        Leaving me confused, with tormenting thoughts

        Why did you go for her arms, when you went to mine?

        Why did you pay her flowers, and take her to dine?

        You even took your time, to write her own little song

        While none at all to me, although married for long?

        All the lies, all the lies, what damage they do

        Of course it didn’t matter to her, nor matter to you

        Everything that had been me, was ripped out that day

        It will never return, nor will this current me stay

        It didn’t matter then, how expensive the price

        You simply got yourself up, and got dressed real nice

        Was walking out with your things, leaving me behind

        I wished so strongly then, that I could read your mind

        Suddenly you’d had enough, of our married life

        What was once my world, was now a dreadful strife

        You cut through my very being, as if wielding a knife

        Assaulting me instead of her, while I was your wife

        Stabbing bold and deep, with not a care in the world

        Leaving me alone to bleed, from all the wounds you incurred

        It didn’t matter to you, that I screamed and cried

        It didn’t matter to you, how a part of me died

        It didn’t matter, that I lay in a heap on the floor

        It didn’t matter how I suffered, you went out of the door

        You were angry with me, instead of angry at a whore

        What had I ever done, to deserve your disdain

        Wasn’t it ever enough, with this searing pain

        You used the silence, as an impermeable shield

        Whenever I approached, you simply wouldn’t yield

        I can’t bring it by force

        But can’t you show some remorse?

        You expect me to forget

        When you don’t show regret?

        How can I move at all, when you leave me stuck?

        Unable to leave, surrounded by your silent muck

        These chains, these chains, just let them fall

        Let the words pour out, and tell me all

        You hold the truth, so give in and set me free

        You hold me back, drag me down, how can’t you see?

        Let me into your mind, let me into your heart

        Let me into the darkness, the hidden part

        I am out of tears, but I am waiting still

        It’s the lies and withholding, that holds my will

        Let me into your mind, and throw away that role

        Let me into your heart, and bare your soul

        Let the story unfold, upfront and sincere

        Let me know it all, as if I had been there

        Let me in although I wish it had not happened at all

        Let me in, let me in, I will take that fall

        You didn’t care back then, so why care now?

        It shouldn’t matter to you, anyhow

        The truth, the truth, causing waves so strong

        When it trickles forward, and the wait is long

        Let it all crash down, out and away

        Once the truth is out, it’s here to stay

        No more walls to climb, no more trust to break

        No more chasing after, what’s true or fake

        Let me in, let me in, let it be known for once

        It’s better at least, than taking years and months

        For the truth sets free, while the lies rip apart

        Let me into your soul, and into your heart

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