Category Archives: 5 stages of grief

It’s real.

The internal battle is real. I’m doing it again, the push away. The “other people have it worse” the “It’s fine. Everything’s fine” fake smile. But I want to scream. I want to scream. I need to just admit to … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, discovery day, extramarital affair, healing after the affair, suicidal thoughts, suicide | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Look at me living and sh*t ūüėĀ

So long before shut downs and COVID, I would’ve described myself as a functioning introvert. I don’t even know if that’s a thing, but that’s what I’m going with. I am fine in public with people existing around me but … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, adultery, cheating husband, extramarital affair, healing after the affair, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Feels like the wind got knocked out of me.

I was in fourth grade. We had just moved from Florida to Pasadena, Md. I had just started a new school. Again. I was out with some neighbor kids and we were all climbing a tree. I made it to … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, cheating husband, D-day, DDay, discovery day, emdr, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

I scrolled waaay back…

I’ve been here and on twitter for 4 years now. I wrote my first entry and created my twitter account on the same day. I was nervous hitting “publish” and I was nervous going on twitter anonymously. I have been … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, adultery, affair, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, D-day, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, homewrecker, Hysterical Bonding, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

EMDR?

I’ve read about it, wondered about it, hoping it can be a thing that works. Let’s see. Just set up my first appointment/consultation for this coming Wednesday. I am not looking forward to yet another therapist. I also hope that … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, affair, D-day, DDay, healing after the affair, infidelity | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

The beginning. Who did you tell?

When I found out dumpster girl existed, I told a lot of people. I’m not sure why. Not to shame him. Not for sympathy. For no reason I think other than, I was fucked up and explaining why to people … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, affair, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, D-day, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, healing after the affair, husband, Hysterical Bonding, infidelity, the other woman | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

March…and he left us AGAIN

March 2016 It’s been a while. ¬† But I remember this month like it was yesterday. The end of February brought the knowledge that he was still talking to her through December. ¬†He admitted they talked, only talked, through the … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, affair, cheating husband, D-day, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, homewrecker | Leave a comment

I’m so lost

He left Sunday, Dec. 20th. I picked myself up out of the driveway, and told the kids to get ready to go out, we are going for lunch. I stayed out with them as long as I could, to come … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, affair, healing after the affair, homewrecker, Hysterical Bonding, suicidal thoughts, the other woman | 1 Comment

I need a break

I need a break. I have this incredible urge to get those first weeks out, to get them out now. I already feel a little bit better about DD. ¬†It’s writing and releasing. ¬†Writing and releasing… I took a break … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, affair, cheating husband, healing after the affair, homewrecker, Hysterical Bonding, infidelity, marriage, the other woman, whore | Leave a comment

The day I got aboard the Crazy Train

It’s Wednesday now. ¬†Only 3 days past DD. ¬†It already feels like a lifetime at this point. Just so you know, Crazy Train has come for me now, and there’s really no holding back on the language. ¬†If it offends, … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, affair, cheating husband, healing after the affair, homewrecker, infidelity, marriage, the other woman, whore | 2 Comments