Tag Archives: cognitive dissonance

I often think…

…What if he had chosen her? Sometimes I find myself daydreaming. I know many that I follow are in that boat. Their partner left for the other person. The side piece. The homewrecker. But that is not my story. Mine … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, homewrecker, infidelity, mistress, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It’s real.

The internal battle is real. I’m doing it again, the push away. The “other people have it worse” the “It’s fine. Everything’s fine” fake smile. But I want to scream. I want to scream. I need to just admit to … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, discovery day, extramarital affair, healing after the affair, suicidal thoughts, suicide | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Fantasy.

I’ve never done this. It’s never crossed my mind. Not once in 30 years together. I was working on my chicken coop yesterday, it was just me, the chickens and some woodland critters. No headphones in, no music, just me … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, healing after the affair, husband, infidelity, marriage, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Abuse

Have I written that he accuses me of being abusive? He says I am an abusive spouse. He tells me I abuse him. I know I’ve tried to write it, but not sure if I hit publish. There’s a lot … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, healing after the affair | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Lies.

I was outside feeding my feral cat, Oscar, this morning. He’s a cutie for sure. I’ve been working on him daily since he showed up in April. He remains as feral as he can be though. He has finally allowed … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, D-day, DDay, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I scrolled waaay back…

I’ve been here and on twitter for 4 years now. I wrote my first entry and created my twitter account on the same day. I was nervous hitting “publish” and I was nervous going on twitter anonymously. I have been … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, adultery, affair, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, D-day, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, homewrecker, Hysterical Bonding, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Did not have my consent.

I was scrolling through My twitter feed a few weeks ago. I can’t find the tweet now, as I wanted her permission to repost it here, I also wanted to retweet it, but I don’t follow her and twitters algorithm … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, homewrecker, Hysterical Bonding, infidelity, lies, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

I don’t even know what to title this.

A quote I saw caused a pretty fierce face palm this past weekend. A jaw drop, a wide eyed gasp and a face palm that was a bit harder than it should’ve been. I did. I read it again. Then … Continue reading

Posted in cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, discovery day, emdr, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

A week

About a week has passed since I lost my shit over the random thoughts of them. After I wrote the entry, I shot off a text to him. After a while, hours actually, he answered yes. Yes, they communicated daily. … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, D-day, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, healing after the affair | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

I went down activity lane

April 24th will be four years since discovering he had an affair. So I’m quickly approaching that mark. I don’t know. In those four years there’s been 4 therapists, a thousand books, articles, videos all laying down the 3-5 year … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, D-day, DDay, discovery day, emdr, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, homewrecker, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments