Tag Archives: triggers

Stupid condoms. ūü§¨

I clearly seem to have lost complete control over myself at this point. I’m not thinking, I’m not thinking past doing dumb shit and knowing there will be consequences. Maybe it’s mercury retrograde. Maybe it is. Maybe I’m insane. Maybe … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, extramarital affair, healing after the affair, homewrecker, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

A feather

My sister keeps telling me she feels our dad around her all the time. At the service, her and I were sitting next to each other and she told me she could feel him behind us with his arms around … Continue reading

Posted in suicide | Tagged , | 1 Comment

It’s real.

The internal battle is real. I’m doing it again, the push away. The “other people have it worse” the “It’s fine. Everything’s fine” fake smile. But I want to scream. I want to scream. I need to just admit to … Continue reading

Posted in 5 stages of grief, cheating husband, cognitive dissonance, discovery day, extramarital affair, healing after the affair, suicidal thoughts, suicide | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Shattered

I read a blog post recently that was deep. Her style of writing is unique and so heartfelt you can feel it in your chest. She wrote something a few weeks ago that just left me stunned for several minutes. … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, cheating husband, D-day, DDay, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, infidelity, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

All over the place.

Yeah, my head is all over the place. I hate Valentine’s Day. Hate it even more now. One of the questions I asked him recently, only in the book, was about Valentine’s Day. I’ve asked many times. He admitted at … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, cheating husband, DDay, discovery day, extramarital affair, healing after the affair, homewrecker, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

The notebook.

I went and looked for it in his office 2 days ago. I couldn’t find it. I wondered how I would ask him for it. I don’t think I was ready to look, I think I just wanted to see … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, cheating husband, healing after the affair, infidelity, lies | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Tattoos and a notebook

He told me 3 weeks ago he was getting a tattoo. I was shocked. This man is not a fan of ink and has not ever really acknowledged that I have tattoos. Honestly, I don’t think he likes mine. I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Christmas.

Trigger season is upon me. Yay. It actually pisses me off. I’m done with this. So today is the date he walked out and left us. Just scooted on by with his laundry baskets filled and left me on the … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Abuse

Have I written that he accuses me of being abusive? He says I am an abusive spouse. He tells me I abuse him. I know I’ve tried to write it, but not sure if I hit publish. There’s a lot … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, healing after the affair | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Waves.

Waves. Roller coasters. Whatever it may be, I find myself just riding it. I had to step away from social media for the last couple of weeks. I’ve had to snooze people I consider very good friends and a handful … Continue reading

Posted in adultery, affair, cheating husband, extramarital affair, gaslighting, healing after the affair, homewrecker, infidelity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments