Not a word spoken and I’m OK.
No crying, nothing. It’s peaceful.
I don’t even feel the desire to seek him out and try to talk. Not at all, I’ve realized the wall would listen more than he ever would.
I find my mind wandering at times, thinking all the way back to our first dates. 33 years ago.
There’s always been some red flags. There were some things said and done even early on that I’m surprised I didn’t see.
Maybe it just boils down to I didn’t know any different in my life. I didn’t know there could be better.
My son went out with him last night and the air around them is thick today. I don’t know if they talked and I won’t ask.
I have plans.
Im trying to figure it out.
But I feel like I’m purging my house. My things. I’m eyeing up my trunk to see what can fit. What I would need.
But making that choice is so so so hard. That choice, that step, that decision. As not all can go with me. My bird and dog, yes. But my chickens, my cats, my kids. 😢 no.
It’s so hard. God I wish he would just leave. So much easier.
Walking the Journey 