To go or not to go…

I’m a bit more settled today. My sister has arrived by mom side and is giving me updates.

She is sedated but responding with hand squeezes. She said they told her the part of the heart the pumps the blood out is at 35% and her pressure is too low.

Seems like she had a heart attack of some sort along with the stroke.

I have no idea.

So I have made the choice, well, not actually, but am leaning towards going down.

It’s not an easy trip to make. I could fly, which I haven’t done since 2000. I hear the airports are a bit different now.

Or I could rent a car and drive. It’s a two day trip down. I am not looking forward to such a drive.

I could bus or Amtrak it down and I’ve already opted myself out of either of those.

I do believe I will fly. If I go.

I’ve been in contact with my step dad about this whole thing, and he’s actually somewhat of a halfway mark of some sort. I could stay with him instead of a hotel.

He mentioned he had never been to Florida. His wife mentioned it. They kept dropping hints and I think they want to go.

He just may want to go. My mother is his high school sweetheart and she was his second wife. He may be feeling a certain way.

I told my husband “I think R and M want to actually go. I wouldn’t mind it at all, I kinda don’t want to be down there alone.”

I would not be staying at mom’s one bedroom house with my sister, thats a no.

He said to me, “Don’t ask them to do that.”

I said, “I’m not, they are dropping hints and seems like they want to.”

That man said to me, “Don’t be a child. Grow up, do this on your own.”

I had no words. I just looked at him. It reminded me of the night we found out about my Dad. He told me that night, “If you can’t get yourself together and get this done (going by myself and facing the cleanup) then we are going to have a real problem.”

I still don’t know what the problem would’ve been, but yeah. He does love to put me down.

He could’ve never done what I had to do then.

Anyway, I do think I’m leaning towards going. Probably flying.

Oh, the beaches in her area are stunning. Sanibel Island. Cape Coral. Venice. Naples…

I wouldn’t mind seeing her and sitting on a beach for a minute.